Boy-Throwing To Be Discontinued

Boy Speared With Javelin

Lyndhurst Secondary College in Melbourne will remove the popular boy-throwing event from its sports agenda due to a near tragedy today. A throwee had to be taken to hospital after landing on an upturned javelin when he was hurled a record distance by the school’s champion thrower.

The event has up till now been kept out of the public’s attention, but an inadvertent slip by a rescue officer let the cat out of the bag when she said, “the javelin was not in the air when the boy was speared and it was unclear how he came to be impaled.”