Paris Says “it’s Cruel,” Prison Clothes Unflattering

Paris Hilton Says Jail Term Cruel, Fires Publicist

Rather than accepting any responsibility for driving while her license was suspended, Paris Hilton has laid the blame where it truly lies: with her publicist. She has sacked her former trusted spokesman, presumably for giving her the inaccurate advice that it would be okay for Paris to drive at night as long as her headlights were off.

Paris now knows this was wrong, and, as she has acted swiftly in sacking the evildoer who misled her, she thinks it is “cruel and unwarranted” for her to be locked up in an institution that features such an uninspired clothing range and bland dining menu.