Monday, April 30, 2007

Is It A Church Service Or Churchapalooza?

Ohio Church Noise Bothers Neighbors

Neighbors are complaining that there is too much noise coming from a church in Massillon, Ohio. “It sounds like all hell’s breaking loose in there,” said one of the residents.

The Rev. Troy Sowell responded, “Well, we are the Worshippers of Christ the Warrior King, you know. We’re not a bunch of namby-pamby Catholics or Buddhists. Sometimes you’ve got to make a bit of noise when you’re wrestling with Satan.”

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Psychics Fail To Foresee Own Future

Philadelphia Shuts Down Psychics

Philadelphia city inspectors shut down a bunch of psychics, astrologers and tarot-card readers after realizing that fortune telling for profit was against the law. It seems that the oracles couldn’t even read the past, as the law that bans them was decades old.

In a bit of good news, however, the White House has employed the redundant fortune tellers because President Bush believes they can provide a more realistic estimate of the end of the Iraq war than can the Pentagon.

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Snapped Ex-wives Not Happy

Man Accused Of Passing Out Obscene Fliers Featuring Ex-Wives

An Evansville man was arrested for passing out sexually explicit fliers that included images of two ex-wives. The accused man can’t see what all the fuss is about: “What did I do? I’m a sharing guy. People pass around family photos all the time.”

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C’mon Guys, Beam Me Up Already!

Scotty To Finally Reach The Stars

After repeated attempts, the ashes of Star Trek actor James “Scotty” Doohan will finally be launched into space. The numerous delays are believed to be the result of a practical joke pulled by his former Vulcan crewmate and noted funny guy, Mr. Spock.

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It’s Rabbit Season Again

'Rabbit Ears' Find New Life In HDTV Age

Buyers of the latest high-definition LCD and plasma televisions are reported to be using them with old-fashioned rabbit-ear antennas. They may be doing this in the vain hope of attracting good, old-fashioned television programs, rather than the kind of crap currently doled out by the networks.

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Spector’s Lawyers To Blind Jury With Science

Phil Spector's Defense: Science Will Show He Didn't Fire The Gun

Buoyed by the O.J. Simpson outcome, celebrity lawyers will once again call on science to show that their client couldn’t possibly have pulled the trigger.

If that fails to save their client, it is believed they will further argue that aliens were responsible for the heinous crime, should they not be able to find Elvis or Jimmy Hoffa and prove either one of those were in the room at the same time.

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Times Not A-Changin’ For Phil Spector

Ex-Girlfriend Recalls Spector In 'Phil Mode' As Drunk, Violent And Armed

A woman who claims to have been menaced by a gun-wielding Phil Spector has testified at his murder trial. Spector’s main problem, apart from shooting his girlfriend of course, is that he appears to be stuck in the past.

He doesn’t realize that the world has moved on from the heady sixties, when it was considered quite normal for music producers to pistol-whip a woman and order her to disrobe.

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Breakdown in British Education System

Is It Ever Acceptable To Cry At Work?

What sort of example is a British school headmaster giving when he breaks down in tears while on stage at a conference and, surprisingly, is applauded by his fellow teachers? Britain didn’t gain an empire by having a touchy feely education system. It had a system based on the principal that a sound thrashing was good for students and teachers alike. If you’re looking for an explanation of Britain’s decline as a superpower, look no further.

Boo-hoo.

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Saturday, April 28, 2007

New MIT Class: How To Fake a Resume

MIT Admissions Dean Resigns

To stressed-out parents and students, MIT admissions dean Marilee Jones was a rare voice of reason in the high-pressure world of college admissions. With colleges demanding kids who play sports, run student government and take the heaviest course load they can, Jones shouted back the opposite: daydream, stay healthy, and don't worry so much about building a resume just to impress an elite college.
Yet it turns out that Jones was susceptible to pressure herself. She falsely bolstered her credentials to get a job with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and over the course of her career claimed to have earned degrees from three schools. MIT officials say now they have no evidence she ever graduated from college at all.

The school announced Thursday that Jones had resigned after acknowledging she had misrepresented her education when she started working at the university 28 years ago, and declined to correct multiple incorrect claims since then.

MIT officials acknowledged that they ionly want the best and the brightest at their school and that Ms. Jones "was very good" at what she did, so Ms. Jones is now teaching a class on "How To Fake a Resume."

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The Truth is Out There

Pilot Spots 'UFO' Over Guernsey

A commercial airline pilot has reported seeing two unidentified flying objects in the sky near Guernsey. As the objects were also observed by passengers on the plane and other aircraft, the normal “rational” explanation that this sighting was caused by reflections or weather balloons just doesn’t hold water. Radio operators reported hearing garbled transmissions from the objects. The only words they could clearly identify were “Fox” and “Mulder.”

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Doing Hard Time: Stiff Sentences in British Prisons

Inmates Have A Stiff Sentence

Low-risk inmates at Ford Open Prison in Sussex have had Viagra tablets confiscated in a raid by warders. One insider added: “You really would not think this is a prison sometimes. It’s just a holiday camp for most of them.”

We all know what happens in prison when there aren’t any ladies around, but the taking of erection-enhancing drugs to improve performance seems a bit too sensitive-new-age-guyish. Old-school hard men must be spinning in their graves.

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A Beer You’ve Just Got to Have

Woman Attacks Man With Shovel

Valissa Lorraine Small had a powerful thirst for beer but no money. The lateral-thinking woman then approached a 72-year-old man for some cash. Upon refusal, Valissa was left with no option but to kick the unhelpful gentleman in the groin and beat him with his own shovel. Police are warning the elderly not to be heroes and just hand over the money if you see a thirsty woman with beer on her mind.

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Eye Scream: Man Pulls Eyeball Out Of Socket To Show He Can

Eye Scream: Man Pulls Eyeball Out Of Socket

This is just weird. And, our legal attorney told us to add the phrase, "The following scenes are performed by a trained professional. You are not. Don't try this at home."




Don't worry that someone hasn't figured out a way to vacate (that is remove to us laymen) and implant an eye - this is the patent for the device.

In the event you ever require first aid for an eye injury you can visit this site.



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Joe Camel to Judge Beauty Contest



Saudi Tribe Holds Camel Beauty Pageant

UWEI'IYYA, Saudi Arabia (Reuters) - The legs are long, the eyes are big, the bodies curvaceous. But they are hairy and their breath, well in like camel's breath.

Contestants in this Saudi-style beauty pageant have all the features you might expect anywhere else in the world, but with one crucial difference -- the competitors are camels.

Camels are also big business in a country where strict Islamic laws and tribal customs would make it impossible for women to take part in their own beauty contest.

Head judge Joe Camel was heard to say, "That baby gots' back. And she has great camel toes too"




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Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk Therapy Helps People With Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Talk Therapy Helps People With Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders

Researchers in Australia have developed a new treatment for patients suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) using “talk therapy.” Relatives and friends who bear the brunt of the incessant babbling wonder if this is a step forward.


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Legal Tongue-Lashing - No Condom Used

Indian Court Orders Arrest Of Gere, Shetty Over Kiss

An Indian judge ordered the arrest of Richard Gere and Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on Thursday because of a kiss at an AIDS awareness event. The audience was agasp that Gere wasn't using a condom in spite of the AIDS event and the message it would be sending.

This shocking display of blatant heterosexuality was considered inappropriate at an AIDS awareness programme for Delhi truck drivers (no, really!) and, anyway, an aging American actor just shouldn’t be allowed to kiss one of the world’s most beautiful women.



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Killer Sex

Woman Sneaks Into Prison for Sex

A woman has pleaded guilty to sneaking into a prison so she could have sex with an inmate. Tiffany Weaver, 29, was charged with identity theft and use of false government identification after entering the Maryland Reception Diagnostic and Classification Center in November 2006 to meet with inmate Jason Moody. Moody is serving a 30-year-term for manslaughter.

Authorities fear a spate of copycat incidents will occur as more women catch on to the “romantic” advantages presented by men in detention. Apart from being desperate to see a woman—any woman—they aren’t likely to get up and leave as soon as they’ve finished.

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Even The French Hate The French

The French Hate Themselves Even More Than Everyone Does.

The French dislike themselves even more than the Americans dislike them, according to an opinion poll published on Friday. The survey of six nations, carried out for the International Herald Tribune daily and France 24 TV station, said 44% of French people thought badly of themselves against 38% of U.S. respondents who had a negative view of the French.

The French even hated French fries, French toast, French salad dressing and French Ticklers.


Only 14% of Germans, 25% of Italians, 29% of Spaniards and 33% of Britons had a negative view of the French, according to the poll.


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Dentist Takes a Bit Out of Dental Costs

Man Charged With Doing Dental Work From Garage

Roger Bean, loved by many dentally-challenged residents of West Palm Beach, has today been sacrificed on the altar of political correctness. His adoring clients were able to get a full set of dentures for just $200, not the $2000 charged by other “so-called” dentists. His arrest is based simply on the fact that he is not licensed to practice. Further allegations that he operated from a “filthy” garage didn’t go in his favor. Conspiracy theorists believe an evil cartel of wealthy dentists is behind this travesty of justice.


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Australian Government says “Bad Dogg!”

Australian Government says “Bad Dogg!”

Australia’s Immigration Minister, Kevin Andrews, has barred Snoop Dogg, who has a criminal record, from entering Australia for Sunday's MTV Australia Video Music Awards. Andrews claimed that he had been a long-time fan of Snoopy and, indeed, all the other characters from the Peanuts cartoon. “But now that he’s into that rap music, I don’t care for him at all,” stated Andrews.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

What Would Jesus Do?

Vandals Target Gay Tolerance Billboards

A series of billboards claiming Biblical support for homosexuality were vandalized by intolerant opponents who are pretty sure they know what Jesus really thought about gays. "Never mind all that 'Love your fellow man' and 'Judge not, that you be not judged' stuff, we can read between the lines," said one spray-can wielding Christian.

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Computer Upgrade Increases Annoyance Reduces Greenhouse Effect

DMV turnaround twice as slow as it was before computer upgrade

A computer upgrade at the Wisconsin State Division of Motor Vehicles cost twice as much as expected and has, coincidentally, doubled the normal wait for vehicle registration. Those who are mathematically inclined can be thankful that the budget blow-out was no greater. Fuming motorists no doubt appreciate that, while waiting for registration, they are helping reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

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Are You Taking the P*ss?

Cameroon Threatens To Jail Urine Drinkers

The populace of Cameroon woke this morning to the news that their government has banned the consumption of urine. This was enough to make many of them choke on their health-giving morning beverage. "It stinks!" claimed one long-term drinker who claims to have overcome baldness, snakebite, and cancer, simply by downing a daily gallon of his own sparkling nectar.


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Rainbow Colors Being Hoarded By Walmart: Yellow Smiley Face Adds Green, Then Red - Relgious Right Gets Blue

Showing the first few steps to add to their Yellow "Always Low Prices" smiley face logo, Wal-Mart Canada will introduce its own Walmart environmental label, in green, today to identify products that have been certified as environmentally friendly.

In a related story the world's largest retailer, is cutting about 1,000 management positions at its Sam's Club stores. Lotsa red here.

A religious spokesperson accused WalMart was trying to get all the colors of the rainbow to appeal to gay buyers. WalMart denied this saying that, "They can talk until they are blue in the face, we will continue to appeal to all peole, including Blacks." In another related story, the latest album from Pink is the best seller at WalMart.

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Artic Heat Wave

Due to global warming, a Norwegian glacier has shrunk on an island 600 miles from the North Pole. Sources indicate Marriot and Hilton eye luxury beach resort hotels once de-icing is complete.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Txt Msg-ing Hrmfl to Lnqug?

G2CU, this article is SSIF, and a bit OTT.

If U need help (RTM) or visit the text messaging site of abbreviations.

But SRSLY, I know some of U are thinking WDALYIC, but IIRC, you came here.

AFAIK I am the only one to offer a bi-messaging interpretation of this world. YIU it can be difficult.

DUBLIN (Reuters) (TMOT) - The rising popularity of text messaging on cell phones poses a threat to writing standards (YGBKM) among Irish schoolchildren, an education commission says.

The frequency of errors in grammar and punctuation has become a serious concern, the State Examination Commission said in a report after reviewing last year's exam performance by 15-year-olds. (WC)

"The emergence of the mobile phone and the rise of text messaging as a popular means of communication would appear to have impacted on standards of writing as evidenced in the responses of candidates," the report said, according to Wednesday's Irish Times. Why, because it KPC, duh...

"Text messaging, with its use of phonetic spelling and little or no punctuation, seems to pose a threat to traditional conventions in writing." (ROFL)

The report laments that, in many cases, candidates seemed "unduly reliant on short sentences, simple tenses and a limited vocabulary." (KISS)

In 2003, Irish 15-year-olds were among the top 10 performers in an international league table of literacy standards compiled by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. (TBC)


G2G - CYO

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Paris Hilton Explained: Intelligence not linked to wealth

Intelligence has nothing to do with wealth, according to a US study published Tuesday which found that people with below average smarts were just as wealthy as those with higher IQ scores.

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Hooked on Irises: Fishing Lure Injuries Ranked #1

In sports the adage is, "Keep your eye on the ball." Maybe this should apply to fishing (if that is a sport) as eye injuries from fishing surpassed eye injuries from basketball as the No. 1 sports-related eye injury.

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Four Year Old Hit By Player in Endzone

A 4-year-old boy who was inadvertently hit by a college football player during a game has 30 stitches in his head, but he’s recovering well, his father said Tuesday.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Make Super Google With "Customize Google" Software Add-on

Customize Google is a cool little (free) Firefox add-on (add-in) that does the following:

* Use Google Suggest (suggest words while you're typing)
* Add links to competitors
* Rewrite links to point straight to the images in Google Images
* Removes image copying restrictions in Google Book Search
* Secure Gmail and Google Calendar, switch to https
* Block Google Analytics cookies
* Hide the Gmail spam counter
* Remove ads
* Anonymize your Google userid
* Add a result counter in search result
* Filter spammy websites from search results
* Add links to WayBack Machine (webpage history)
* Remove click tracking
* Add links from Google to your bookmark manager
* Use a fixed font for Gmail mail bodies
* Stream Google search result pages


Watch the two minute movie vie Flash, Gif animation or Windows Media.

I am not a paid sponsor or friend or anything of this software, it just is a handy program. :0

Other cool programs: Roboform

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Stop Snitching, Bad. Don't Ask Don't Tell, Good

Anderson Cooper reports for 60 Minutes, that the hip-hop culture embeds the message: "don’t cooperate with the police – no matter who you are," into todays Black society. Reluctance to talk to police has always been a problem in poor, predominantly African-American communities, but cops and criminologists say in recent years something has changed: fueled by hip-hop music, promoted by major corporations, what was once a backroom code of silence among criminals, is now being marketed like never before.

60 Minutes: Don't Snitch Part 1




It seems that all involved in the broadcast, rightfully, I believe, indicated that it was wrong not to tell.

Street Cred (or is That Street Crud?)

New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly says there were at least 25 people who may have witnessed a shooting involving the music star Busta Rhymes. But he says nobody has come forward to testify. "The people that we've located, either were inside and didn't see anything. Or you'll get a version of, 'I have to work in this business. Ask Busta Rhymes what happened,'" Commissioner Kelly says. The police would like to ask Busta Rhymes what happened but, even though he talked vaguely about the killing on a cable TV show, he refused to talk to investigators, or to 60 Minutes, because Rhymes doesn’t want to jeopardize sales of his music and videos; Canada says being labeled a "snitch" might have damaged Rhymes' "street cred."

60 Minutes: Don't Snitch Part 2


Another Culture - Different Rules

So, it is alright to make the hip-hop culture have to snitch, oops, I mean cooperate, but in the military, the powers that be demand the exact opposite with their "gay soldier" policy of "Don't ask, don't tell."

So much for government street cred...

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Murdered Woman Forgot To Replace Toilet Roll

An elderly Hong Kong man was jailed today after he was found guilty of killing his wife of 48 years in a row over whose turn it was to use the toilet.

In June last year, Cho Pui-kee, 77, allegedly strangled his wife, 73-year-old Chan Nui-oi after she would not let him use the toilet.

Her body was found rolled up in a quilt after two of the couple's six children became concerned and called the couple at their flat.

Yesterday Cho was cleared of murder but found guilty of manslaughter and jailed for five years, the South China Morning Post reported.

The court was told Cho became increasingly frustrated at his wife's habit of using the bathroom to was clothes when he wanted to use the toilet in their high-rise Hong Kong apartment.

During the trial, Chan was described by one of her children as a woman who "nagged a lot" and could be "quite stubborn.

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Man Calls 911 About Stolen Lap Dance Money

CLYMAN (Wisconsin) — A man called 911 early Saturday when he apparently gave $20 for a lap dance to the wrong woman at the T&T Gentlemen’s Club.

Unfortunately the woman he gave his money to was not an employee of the club and left with his money without providing the dance, according to the report.

According to the log, dispatchers could hear arguing in the background when the man called 911 on his cell phone.

Officers are trying to locate the woman.

The moral of the story... The lap dancers aren't the ones wearing t-shirts and jeans, they are the ones in the g-strings.

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10,000 Bars Of Chocolate or Sex More Than 4,200 Times?

The British program, Human Footprint, claims the average person will eat over 10,000 bars of chocolate and have sex more than 4,200 times. Hmm, I am ahead in one category and behind in another.

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Hmm, undercover(s) with Ms. America

Seeking to replace Deputy Dawg as a crimefighter, Miss America can add crime fighter to her resume as she went undercover with New York policein a sting targeting sexual predators. Fortunately, for him, my brother-in-law was offline. This was filmed for America's Most Wanted, which will now add Miss America to their list.

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New Planet: One Small Step For Man, One More Place To Pollute

Astronomers have discovered a planet outside our solar system that is potentially habitable, with Earth-like temperatures. And it is only 120 trillion miles away.

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"Girls Gone Wild' Founder To Do "Inmates Gone Wild" Video

Blowing his nose and wiping away tears, the multimillionaire founder of the Girls Gone Wild video empire pleaded guilty to contempt of court Monday and was sentenced to 35 days in jail. Now he will know how it felt to take advantage of other people.

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Sanjaya reads Top 10 list on Letterman

The real story is that Sanjaya can read.

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Alcohol Damages Women's Brains Faster Than Men's

Female alcoholics performed worse on a number of tests of neurocognitive function compared with males, Dr. Barbara Flannery from RTI International in Baltimore and her colleagues found. That explains why there are more men in bars.

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Superman Snorts Cocaine?

A mineral found by geologists in Serbia shares virtually the same chemical composition as the fictional kryptonite from outer space, used by the superhero's nemesis Lex Luther to weaken him in the film "Superman Returns".

But instead of the large green crystals in Superman comics, the real thing is a white, powdery substance which contains no fluorine and is non-radioactive.

Hmm, white and powdery. Ahh, that is why he can fly.

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Hip-Hop Mogul Wants Ban Of Three Words - Other Simmons Chime In

Expressing concern about the "growing public outrage" over the use of bad words in rap lyrics, Russell Simmons said the words "bitch," "ho" and "nigger" should be considered "extreme curse words." We were hoping that Richard Simmons would issue his own list of phrases, "infomercial," "Sweatin' to the Oldies" and "Disco Sweat." Gene Simmons had no comment.

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Proof That VP Cheney Has a Heart

Vice President Dick Cheney was taken to his doctor's office Tuesday for a checkup of the blood clot in his left leg. Well, the leg is close to the heart.

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Not Rain. Not Sleet. Not Snow. But Dog Takes a Bite out of Mail

Bad dog causes mail cancellation. Pretty soon someone will invent electronic dog to snap at ISP delivery services.

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One Less Criiminal on Google's Most Wanted List

Canadian woman thinks about marrying, Googles to check on wedding plans, finds out he is on America's Most Wanted, turns him in. When I googled my wife all I got was online shopping invoices.

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Who's Your Daddy? Toyota beats GM as world's largest car maker

Pump prices makes drivers pick Toyota over GM. GM says we may not be number one, but we still make the biggest cars.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

The Hubbert Peak Theory & The Value of Domain Names

In 1956, Marion King Hubbert stated that for any individual oil field, or for any country, or for the world as a whole, the rate of petroleum production tends to follow a bell-shaped curve. This became known as the Hubbert Peak Theory.

There Are Some Similarities Between .Com Domains And The Oil Industry.

Obviously the peak is at the top of production. Essentially the Hubbert peak theory shows that once oil findings peak, so does the amount of oil that can be produced (duh). And, that once we are on the downside of the bell curve, which we are, we should be examining other alternatives, because there will be no more oil.



Now, What Does This Have To Do With .Com Domain Names?

Well, there is a finite amount of oil, and for the most part, there is a finite amount of .com domains (unless you count 1plna889qqqzz.com as an option).

Peak Oil Theory Bell Curve

Hubbert theorized that after all fossil fuel options (oil reserves, coal reserves, and natural gas reserves) are identified (there hasn't been a major find in 30 years), production increases almost exponentially at first. Then as more value is recognized (i.e. demand) man creates more efficient ways to "drink the oil" and extract at a greater pace. At some point, the peak output of a field (or a country or the world) is reached (the top of the bell curve), and then production begins declining until it also has an exponential decline.

As the decline begins, even more efforts are attempted to get at the remaining oil reserves, i.e., Canadian sand tar and injection of various liquid or gases into previously dug holes to force any residual to more easily be captured and extracted. At some point efforts turn towards such proposals as drilling in Alaska, off the shores of California or areas like Sudan.

Lastly, alternatives to oil are being more closely examined, such as solar, wind, nuclear, etc.

Peak Domain Theory Bell Curve

Back to domains... The same thing happened here. At first there was the discovery of domains, followed by a slow build up of the "extraction" of domains. Not long after that there was more sophisticated mining of domains including scripts to take keywords, add a .com after the keyword and then check for availability. Before too long, in a very short period of time, we hit the peak in that every dictionary and "money" keyword (and keyword phrases) were totally depleted.

The peak of domains was hit, and now on the downside of the bell curve more innovative activities are incurring such as examining dropped domain lists and then subsequently using high tech programs to bang the domain databases on the day of the drop, or even going to individual domain owners, one by one, and asking if they would sell their domain. This last method is akin to the injection of air or liquid into a dry well, in order to see if anything is left.

Lastly, as the .com reserves of domains were being depleted, alternatives were being created, and we know them as .mobi, .info, .biz, etc. Most of these domain extensions were only slightly more effective than cold fusion research.

There Are More Similarities Between Oil And .Com Domains

Oil consumption peaks in the US was approximately in 1970 (remember the gas lines) and world oil depletion should be occurring right about now, although oil-producing companies continue to "enhance" their oil reserve projections, not surprisingly, upwards, which masks the true amount of oil available.

Also, in the 70's, about half of all global consumption was used by the US. Domain consumption is predominantly a US activity, as indicated by ownership.

As the world realizes an oil shortage, especially with the continuing massive consumption of oil by the US, and the staggering increase of oil by China and India, the price of oil should not only increase, but increase rapidly. Plus there over 700 million motorized vehicles worldwide. We have already experienced the first of a price increase in gas and related oil products over the last year or so.

So What Does The Future Hold For .Com Domains?

I heard on the show, "A Crude Awakening: The Oil Crash," about oil, that the stone age ended not because of the lack of stones, the age of using animals, such as horses, ended not because of the lack of hay, and they theorized that "necessity is the mother of invention," and that advancements were made in the past, and we should be able to "figure out" some sort of solution to the dependence on oil. Maybe...

The .com domain age won't really end, for the most part, because unlike oil, .com domains live on and are recycled, resold and redistributed from sellers to buyers.

The "Crude Awakening" documentary also emphasized how "cheap" oil still is. They used a simple example comparing oil to Starbucks. Gas is about $3 a gallon and Starbucks in $50 a gallon. Their conclusion? We have it cheap and prices will go up substantially.

In Conclusion...

Will oil products ultimately go the way of the 8-track, 5 GB hard drives and pay phones? Definitely.

Will domains fall to this extinction as well? Probably not, in that domains are limited in their numbers and they are not consumed. In short, unless some QUALITY alternative to .com domains is somehow created (which could happen, but hasn't so far), .com domains should continue to increase in value as scarce and valuable resource.

Conclusion, while the consumption of all quality .com domain names has peaked, the value of the domains continues to rise. Hold onto your domain portfolio as long as you can.

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Does Sheryl Crow Have a Clean Tush? (Members Only)

Is there a secret message in the music of Sheryl Crow about her latest environmental movement post? I examined her lyrics and deciphered the truth.

Sheryl is trying to rally people behind her cause. (
C'Mon, C'Mon)

Save a tree, kill a big bean burrito? (
There Goes The Neighborhood)

On Sheryl Crow's blog she suggest ways to help the environment (
We Do What We Can), "One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

Gosh, I sure hope the toilet paper is structurally sound. (
Strong Enough)

Hmm, just one square (
No One Said It Would Be Easy). Possibly we could also have bowel movements less often (Anything But Down). Maybe we could hold it longer? (Can't Cry Anymore) And then what happens? (Run Baby Run)

Does Sheryl really abide by the one bowel movement, one square rule? (
I Don't Wanna Know)

Was her blog post really true? (
Perfect Lie)

Does Sheryl Crow have a clean tush? (I Shall Believe)

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Skinny Runway Models to Protest BULLimia in Mauritania Beauty Pageants

Skinny, underfed runway models plan to stage a protest about the practice of "gavaging" in Mauritania. It seems that in this country, obesity is a sign of wealth and beauty. Mothers want to make a girl big and plump, 'gavage' - a borrowed French word from the practice of fattening of geese for foie gras - and they start when the girls are young.

One young girl was 4 when her family began to force her to drink 14 gallons of camel's milk a day. Western runway models protested that they had to smoke Camels to keep their weight down.


Isselmou
Ould Mohamed says he loves his wife's 200-pound body and was pleased when she began adding even more weight during pregnancy. When he learned she had started walking around the soccer stadium to try to shed the extra pounds, he was revolted.

"I don't like skinny women. I want her strong like bull. I want to be able to grab her love handles," said the 32-year-old. "I told her that if she loses a lot of weight, I'll divorce her."

One runway model said, with just a crumb of the thin slice of Twinkie she had a few days ago left on her extra-poofy lips, "Everywhere we go now, people don't want beautiful thin girls. If Mauritania girls start holding beauty pageants, we are going to protest that they are BULLimic."

Another 98-pound model was secretly asking another to see just where in California Mauritania was located so she could move there.

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China: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Crouching Tiger: Even with China's one child policy Chinas population grew by 132.2 million between 1990 and 2000, an increase of 11.7%. It appears to be poised to grow even more.

Hidden Dragon:
More than 10% of China's farm land is polluted, posing a "severe threat" to the nation's food production, state media reports. Excessive fertiliser use, polluted water, heavy metals and solid wastes are to blame, the reports said.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Here a Pig, There a Pig, Everywhere a Pig Pig...

Listen to these parenting skills. Alec Baldwin call his 11 year old daughter a pig. He goes on to say, "I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do."

What a pig.

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