Inmates Take Swipe At Toilet Paper Cuts

Inmates Take Swipe At Toilet Paper Cuts

Hutchinson Correctional Facility officials have begun limiting inmates to one toilet roll at a time to trim costs. “This stuff doesn’t grow on trees,” stated one official. As supplies dry up, toilet rolls will undoubtedly become the new prison currency. Several suspiciously shaped cakes have already been intercepted by watchful guards who are normally on the lookout for incoming wea pons, drugs, and files.

Prisoners no longer rate their greatest fear as getting stabbed or contracting AIDS; the new number one is a good bout of diarrhea.