Inmates Take Swipe At Toilet Paper Cuts

Inmates Take Swipe At Toilet Paper Cuts

Hutchinson Correctional Facility officials have begun limiting inmates to one toilet roll at a time to trim costs. “This stuff doesn’t grow on trees,” stated one official. As supplies dry up, toilet rolls will undoubtedly become the new prison currency. Several suspiciously shaped cakes have already been intercepted by watchful guards who are normally on the lookout for incoming wea pons, drugs, and files.

Prisoners no longer rate their greatest fear as getting stabbed or contracting AIDS; the new number one is a good bout of diarrhea.

Doing Hard Time: Stiff Sentences in British Prisons

Inmates Have A Stiff Sentence

Low-risk inmates at Ford Open Prison in Sussex have had Viagra tablets confiscated in a raid by warders. One insider added: “You really would not think this is a prison sometimes. It’s just a holiday camp for most of them.”

We all know what happens in prison when there aren’t any ladies around, but the taking of erection-enhancing drugs to improve performance seems a bit too sensitive-new-age-guyish. Old-school hard men must be spinning in their graves.